On Wanderlust

I used to hate the idea of travel.

Honestly, I could not stand it. The thought of packing up, moving around, pulling up my roots and just going- it all sounded pretty awful to me. I was rather convinced that I wouldn't be that sort of person. I would be the sort to find a place, settle down, not do nothing, per se, but just do it all in the same general location. I still think I may be that person some day.

But not today. Not tomorrow, either, or for any time in the immediately foreseeable future. Something happened, something changed, now I can barely stomach the thought of staying still. How could I do that? It would feel as though I were petrifying, turning to stone through my stagnancy. I want to move. I want to explore. I want to try all the things that I may not find myself with time for doing later, when I have a life and a job and a plan. Perhaps it is a fear of growing up, but that doesn't feel quite right. I think its something a little different. A fear of growing up without finding what I'm growing out of first. I think I want to know myself, before I grow into something else. I want to experience the life I have now from every angle I can manage, just to get a better look at it. There's a part of me that's still excited to settle down, to have a place and a person I want to grow into being. But I haven't found that person yet, and while I'm searching it seems only logical to have some fun with the process.

As for the things I want to do, here is an abreviated list. A warning- the feasible will be herein mixed with the unimaginable, the planned with the unplanned, and there shall be a general disorder and dissonence to things.

Anything that does have a plan to accompany it, however, will be noted with a date in parenthesis to the right of the item.

1. Go to dance camps. All the dance camps. Specifically:
   -Alt Blues Recesses: Massive, Northwest, Aspen
   -Dancing Fool  (Always, every year, in Febuary and September)
   -Pinewoods
   -Queer Contra Camp
   -Lady of the Lake
   -American Week
   -Any other large blues or contra events that come up while I'm doing the rest of these
2. Work in Alaska for a summer, canning (Summer 2015, likely June-September or thereabouts)
3. Go to the Folk School, learn how to make cheese
4. Visit Holland
5. Visit anywhere else I can possibly go, because I want to see places
6. Road trip cross-country
7. Ride a motercycle
8. Bike trip
9. Go to Moomin Cafe in Tokyo (8/17/14, ish)
10. Go back-packing/camping
11. Apply for/do the JET (Japan Experience Teaching) Program (after graduating, they require a degree in something to apply. Doesn't matter what in, just needs a degree).
12. Visit Amsterdam, see the places Opa few up. Preferably with Opa.
13. Doubtlessly tons of other stuff that I can't think of at this moment

"And what do you mean to do," you might ask, "about your boyfriend?"

Well, conveniently hypothetical reader, I don't have a definite plan for that. But I don't think my newly acquired wanderlust and the desire to keep my current love life are mutually exclusive goals. It will take some planning and talking and much communication, but I do believe it is possible to have an adventurous life while dating someone, whether or not they wish to choose the same adventures as you (although to that end; we do have some mutual adventure goals, and that does help). I want to do all the things and see all the places. Perhaps this is rather selfish of me, or not very adult, but I believe it is what would give me the most pleasure at this moment in my existence, and that is what I like to work towards. Being the happiest I can.